SolandMonica.com

Today is Wednesday.  This morning I had blood drawn.  They use the port, which is supposed to be easier, but today it didn’t want to cooperate.  I ended up having to lay back in the chair, and then they raised my arm above my head.  I was getting really nervous that it wasn’t going to work.  Finally, they were able to get it working and draw the blood.  I was so relieved!  Although since the blood was drawn, I feel a little dizzy and out of it.  I’m getting some food ready to eat, maybe that will help.

Thank you for all the prayers for little Kai.  The past two nights have been better.  He has been falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer.  Tuesday morning he woke up at 5:30 and only cried for less than a minutes and fell back asleep until 7:30.  It was a beautiful thing.  Today he was up at 6:45.

Tomorrow is already making me nervous.  I am getting the two drugs (Taxol and Avastin).  Last time I experienced many side-effects and ended up in the ER with shortness of breath, pain in my chest and swelling in my arm.  Please pray for a smooth treatment and for no side-effects.  My mother-in-law, Martha, is coming on the train today to be with me.  My friend, Lark, is going to be with me tomorrow for treatment.  I feel so blessed to have people who will take time off of work and out of their busy schedules to sit with me and care for my son while I’m down and out.  I’m feeling loved!

Thank you for all of your prayers and support!  I couldn’t do this without you all!  Please add a friend of mine to your prayers.  She is having surgery in a few hours on something on her skin.  They think it might be some really rare (1 in 10 million) sarcoma but aren’t sure.  They will know more in a week after looking at whatever they take out today.  Pray for peace and rest, and pray that it’s not DFSP (short for some LONG complicated name)!!!  She has three young boys and a wonderful husband.  My heart breaks for her!

Thanks for reading my blog.

Love,

Monica

Category tags: Cancer Update---- 1 Comment »

Our precious little boy has not been wanting to fall asleep.  It is now 10:26 and he fell asleep about 10 minutes ago after being in his bed since 8:30.  He is restless and just tosses, turns and cries when no one is in the room with him.  This is all new.  He had been doing beautifully falling asleep quickly before we came back from Paradise.  I know he’s young, but I believe he knows that something is going on.  He just senses it, and I couldn’t pick him up for over a week, which made both him and me sad.  He has been learning about his emotions and tells us he’s scared when we go in after he’s been crying for a while.  We have had many visitors, and he gets nervous we’re going to leave him whenever someone comes to the door.  Not only is he not going to sleep at night, but he’s getting up around 6:20 each morning.  An hour earlier than before.  I know some of you are probably saying “I wish my child would sleep that long”, but we are just worried about the changes in his sleep patterns.  He’s cutting it short at both ends.   We just want to lift his little spirit up in prayer.

Thanks,

Monica

Category tags: prayer request---- Comments Off on Special Prayer for Kai

Today started with sleeping in.  Thanks, Sol!  I started to move and felt some pain in my abdomen.  Thinking it was just gas, I headed for the restroom.  I spent a good deal of time in there emptying my bowels.  Only after feeling it was safe to leave the restroom, I headed back to bed with some lingering abdominal pain.  I stayed in bed, sleeping off and on for a few hours.  When I got out of bed, a little after 11:00, I couldn’t believe how much better I felt.  Praise!

Later in the afternoon, we went looking at houses.  Prices are coming down, and it’s starting to get a little encouraging!  We may even be able to buy a house in a decent neighborhood.  🙂

During the day, I received news of the passing of a friend’s darling husband. It is so heartbreaking and sad. Please pray for her as she deals with this terrible loss and emptiness in her life.

Monica

Category tags: News---- Comments Off on Sunday News…

I received a phone message the other day, and it brought me to tears.  Someone I recently met, Patty, called to tell me that she had emailed the Angels on my behalf telling them about my missing the game.  They emailed her back offering me tickets to a home game of my choice!  How amazing is that?  It makes me want to go out and buy some Angel’s gear to wear to the game.  So on August 13th, I’ll be sporting red at the Angel’s game against the Mariners!  So fun!

Patty, thank you so much for doing something so unexpected and blessing me this way.   I’ll have to add it to the long list of things that people have done to bless me and my family.  God has brought such amazing people along side of me during this time, thank you all!

Category tags: Gratitude, News---- 1 Comment »

Thank you for all of your prayers.  I was blessed with absolutely no side-effects today.  Sol, my wonderful husband, let me stay in bed while he got up with Kai and got him ready and off to school.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  I woke up around 11:30, and felt great!

So I believe that Avastin is the culprit for all of the side-effects last week.  I’ll be having Avastin every other week, so that is something to really pray about for next week.  I don’t want to end up in the ER again, so I’d covet any prayers sent up for me!

Love,

Monica

Category tags: Cancer Update---- Comments Off on Praise, Felt Good All Day…

Well today was the second chemo for me in this new series.  Thank you, Sunshine, for going with me today!  I only had one drug today (Taxol) and am hoping that tomorrow morning won’t be too bad. I feel pretty good right now. They were able to use the port, and it was so much nicer than having to find another vein. It was only supposed to take about an hour to an hour and a half, but I was there for a little over three hours. They started late because I had to talk to the billing staff at the office.

I had received bills from them, but knew my coverage (I’d read it inside-out and upside-down, you know!), and that my insurance should be covering it all, so I didn’t worry about it. The bills were very minimal (under $100), so I just left it alone. I got a call last night from them and was told to talk to them this morning. I told them that my insurance covers everything except a $15 doctor visit co-pay. She checked it out again and ended up confirming that for herself. In the end, they are going to resubmit it to my insurance and told me not to worry about it. It’s never just one thing, is it? Good thing I know what my coverage is and that I checked it all out! Sometimes it just gets so ridiculous.

So here I am at home resting. I was pretty tired from the benadryl, and have been resting for a few hours. Usually I feel ok on the first day, it’s the 2nd, 3rd and 4th days that are the worst. Tomorrow morning I’ll probably wake up and freeze to assess how I’m feeling. Then, maybe, I’ll roll out of bed very carefully not to upset anything! 🙂 It’s always a guessing game. I sleep with anti-nausea medicine next to the bed. I am hoping that since I only had Taxol this time, it’s the other one (Avastin) that took me for a ride last time…here’s to hoping! I guess we’ll see.

I was encouraged today, multiple times, as I sat there getting chemo. There were three ladies, all named Barbara (felt like a sit-com), and one of them, Barbara #3, is going through chemo and surgery for the third time. She was so positive and funny. She told me about her husband who had some rare type of cancer and was hospitalized for 6 months, developed blood clots in his legs, was put on blood thinners, developed something in his brain, had brain surgery and is doing just fine right now. She said it’s all about the positive attitude. “If your mind starts to go someplace else, don’t let it!” she said. She is 64, but looks maybe 50. She said that chemo is her trick to staying young. Her own little slogan – so funny!

Then there was a guy there who has been having chemo for 9 years. Nine Years! He’s the happiest man and was joking that he was going to have to change his name to Barbara just to fit in around here!

Then I read an article in a magazine talking about Sarcoma and how more people are hearing about it and raising awareness about it. I learned that there are over 600 sub-types of sarcoma and that they all have such varying identifiers that it’s difficult to find what works for each one. The article stated that a family doctor on average will only see 2 sarcomas in his whole career! It said in the article that they are trying to find what works for specific ones, and for angiosarcoma, the newest thing is Avastin. That made me feel good about the treatment I am getting. The specialist that I saw at Cedar’s Sinai was quoted in the article as well as someone I’ve met on a sarcoma chat. It felt great to see that there is more being done to bring awareness to everyone about sarcomas.

So I was encouraged by all of those things and am trying my best to stay positive!

Thanks for praying and please continue to pray for those specific side-effects. Tomorrow will tell!

Love to you all,

Monica

Category tags: Cancer Update---- 1 Comment »

Thank you so much!  They used the port to draw the blood and there wasn’t pain!  Apparently they use a numbing spray to numb the skin before poking the needle into the port.   That would’ve been good to know last night, so that I wasn’t so scared about it.  I couldn’t look while they drew the blood, but what I saw before it started was what looked like a tack!  I know that sounds strange.  I thought so, too!  It connects straight into the port and sort of locks on.  Kind of a strange feeling.  It was so awesome!  I really liked not having them search for a vein.  I think this port thing is going to be so worth the pain of the past week in the long run!

Sol’s aunt, Robin, called me this morning to see if she could come visit.  It was such a blessing to have her here to cry with, talk with, and shop with.  She shared many inspiring stories with me including the miracle of her husband who has beat this cancer beast!  I really enjoyed my day with her and know that God brought it together to bless us both!  Thanks, Robin!

Tomorrow is Chemo.  I am already having a bit of anxiety about it.  I will only have one drug tomorrow, so I hope to have fewer side effects on Friday.  Thank you for all your prayers and support…I’ll keep you posted.

Love,

Monica

Category tags: Cancer Update---- Comments Off on The Port, a Lovely Visitor…

Thank you so much for all of the prayers that went up today as I went in to have the port checked out. They took off all the tape and steri-strips, with some skin, and removed the sutures. It was actually very painful. Any and all adhesives take my skin with it, so I have red marks in the shape of squares where the bandages were and lines where the steri-strips were removed. I guess I heal well and quickly. The sutures were somewhat embedded into my skin making the removal of them more difficult and involved. They had to pull them out from the skin before they could cut them. I thought today would be easy, but I guessed wrong. Two nurses removed them apologizing the whole time for the pain.

In the end I had to wait for a doctor to come and look at the wound and tell me that it was a bit red, but that was probably from all the tugging and tape removal and it should go away. He said that I can shower – Yay! It’s been a week, so I know that Sol is excited about that (as am I…feeling pretty gross!). 😉

When I asked about using the port tomorrow for the blood draw, the nurse said that it was probably ok, but that there would be some pain. They have to feel for the port and then actually pinch it a bit before putting the special needle right into it. I don’t know which would be worse. Using the port tomorrow or having them search for a vein to draw blood through. I have to choose the lesser of the two evils. She told me to take a pain pill before going in…it might help. I’m scared and can’t wait for this part to be over and the port to be fully functional with NO pain!

I’m going to try to get some much needed sleep tonight. Thanks for all the emails and reminders that you’re praying for me. I need to hear it and enjoy reading your encouraging words!

By the way, Kai was fine at school. When we finally got through to the school, they said everyone was ok. He was a little scared talking about it later when we picked him up – so cute.

Love,

Monica

Category tags: Cancer Update, News---- 1 Comment »

Wow!  We were shaking pretty hard, but we are ok.  It was a 5.8 located in Chino Hills about 10 miles from here.  I haven’t been able to get a hold of Kai’s school, but I’m sure they’re fine.  It felt like a truck ran into the house.  It knocked pictures down and things off of shelves.  It was very strong.  Sol works on the 6th floor of a building, and I was on the phone with him while we were shaking!  He said he was going to get out of the building.  I was talking to him while he was under his desk.  It was really scary and we just felt a pretty good aftershock!

Hopefully everything is ok.  It’s not too big, but was centered in a pretty populated area.  The news is saying that it knocked out phone service in the Inland Empire.  You’ll see it on the news if you’re in CA.

Got to go, leaving for the hospital soon.

Monica

Category tags: Uncategorized---- 2 Comments »

Well, like many other nights I wait for sleep to come – only this night seems more sleepless than others.  I cry out to God for healing, and for help in this trial.  I am scared, tired, afraid and overwhelmed.  I don’t know what else to do, but pray!  How come prayer is so often the last thing we come to?  Is it because after praying there is peace that comes and we stop searching?  Or is it because we are fix-it people?  We try everything in our power to do it ourselves, just like a two-year old, and when we realize it’s too much for us we finally ask for help!  Why are we like that?  I look at Kai trying to accomplish some “great feat” beyond what he can do, knowing that he’s going to need my help, and just wait patiently for him to ask.  How much more is God just waiting for us to ask?  We are His children, and He wants to help us.  He wants to hold us like a little baby, taking care of our every need.  I am crying out to Him for his help.  I want healing, and strength for this journey.

Tonight before I logged on to post, I read a devotional from a book my mother-in-law gave me called “More Joy for the Journey.”  It was on God as our Provider.  The verses that went with the devotional really touched my core tonight, and I just want to share them with you.  May they touch your life as well.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Psalm 46:1

“He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.”  Isaiah 40:29

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.”  Isaiah 53:4

“We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:15-17

I know that God is bigger than this cancer and that He can heal me!  I wake up each morning starting new.  Each day is a gift.  No one knows what will happen or when, all we have is today with hope for tomorrow.  “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

I want to end with some specific prayer requests:

1. I go in tomorrow (I guess technically speaking that’s today) to get the port checked.  Please pray that they tell me it is ready to use!

2. Wednesday they’ll be drawing blood.  Please pray that the White Blood Cell Count is normal and that I won’t have to have any shots to boost them or that I won’t have to delay my next treatment because they are low.

3.  Thursday is Chemo.  Please pray that my anxiety will be calmed and that the side-effects would not be as bad as they were this time. 

4. Please pray against any depression of any kind.  This battle is long and I can feel it starting to take it’s toll.

5. Pray for Sol, my wonderful husband, terriffic father, friend, and greatest blessing.  He’s been so strong, but I know that he’s hurting.  He wants to fix it, but can’t.

I want to thank everyone of you who are lifting me up and praying for me.  Keep storming heaven for us! 

Much love,

Sleepless in the Suburbs – Monica 

Category tags: prayer request, Reflection---- 4 Comments »