SolandMonica.com

Well today was the second chemo for me in this new series.  Thank you, Sunshine, for going with me today!  I only had one drug today (Taxol) and am hoping that tomorrow morning won’t be too bad. I feel pretty good right now. They were able to use the port, and it was so much nicer than having to find another vein. It was only supposed to take about an hour to an hour and a half, but I was there for a little over three hours. They started late because I had to talk to the billing staff at the office.

I had received bills from them, but knew my coverage (I’d read it inside-out and upside-down, you know!), and that my insurance should be covering it all, so I didn’t worry about it. The bills were very minimal (under $100), so I just left it alone. I got a call last night from them and was told to talk to them this morning. I told them that my insurance covers everything except a $15 doctor visit co-pay. She checked it out again and ended up confirming that for herself. In the end, they are going to resubmit it to my insurance and told me not to worry about it. It’s never just one thing, is it? Good thing I know what my coverage is and that I checked it all out! Sometimes it just gets so ridiculous.

So here I am at home resting. I was pretty tired from the benadryl, and have been resting for a few hours. Usually I feel ok on the first day, it’s the 2nd, 3rd and 4th days that are the worst. Tomorrow morning I’ll probably wake up and freeze to assess how I’m feeling. Then, maybe, I’ll roll out of bed very carefully not to upset anything! 🙂 It’s always a guessing game. I sleep with anti-nausea medicine next to the bed. I am hoping that since I only had Taxol this time, it’s the other one (Avastin) that took me for a ride last time…here’s to hoping! I guess we’ll see.

I was encouraged today, multiple times, as I sat there getting chemo. There were three ladies, all named Barbara (felt like a sit-com), and one of them, Barbara #3, is going through chemo and surgery for the third time. She was so positive and funny. She told me about her husband who had some rare type of cancer and was hospitalized for 6 months, developed blood clots in his legs, was put on blood thinners, developed something in his brain, had brain surgery and is doing just fine right now. She said it’s all about the positive attitude. “If your mind starts to go someplace else, don’t let it!” she said. She is 64, but looks maybe 50. She said that chemo is her trick to staying young. Her own little slogan – so funny!

Then there was a guy there who has been having chemo for 9 years. Nine Years! He’s the happiest man and was joking that he was going to have to change his name to Barbara just to fit in around here!

Then I read an article in a magazine talking about Sarcoma and how more people are hearing about it and raising awareness about it. I learned that there are over 600 sub-types of sarcoma and that they all have such varying identifiers that it’s difficult to find what works for each one. The article stated that a family doctor on average will only see 2 sarcomas in his whole career! It said in the article that they are trying to find what works for specific ones, and for angiosarcoma, the newest thing is Avastin. That made me feel good about the treatment I am getting. The specialist that I saw at Cedar’s Sinai was quoted in the article as well as someone I’ve met on a sarcoma chat. It felt great to see that there is more being done to bring awareness to everyone about sarcomas.

So I was encouraged by all of those things and am trying my best to stay positive!

Thanks for praying and please continue to pray for those specific side-effects. Tomorrow will tell!

Love to you all,

Monica

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Thank you so much!  They used the port to draw the blood and there wasn’t pain!  Apparently they use a numbing spray to numb the skin before poking the needle into the port.   That would’ve been good to know last night, so that I wasn’t so scared about it.  I couldn’t look while they drew the blood, but what I saw before it started was what looked like a tack!  I know that sounds strange.  I thought so, too!  It connects straight into the port and sort of locks on.  Kind of a strange feeling.  It was so awesome!  I really liked not having them search for a vein.  I think this port thing is going to be so worth the pain of the past week in the long run!

Sol’s aunt, Robin, called me this morning to see if she could come visit.  It was such a blessing to have her here to cry with, talk with, and shop with.  She shared many inspiring stories with me including the miracle of her husband who has beat this cancer beast!  I really enjoyed my day with her and know that God brought it together to bless us both!  Thanks, Robin!

Tomorrow is Chemo.  I am already having a bit of anxiety about it.  I will only have one drug tomorrow, so I hope to have fewer side effects on Friday.  Thank you for all your prayers and support…I’ll keep you posted.

Love,

Monica

Comments Off on The Port, a Lovely Visitor…

Thank you so much for all of the prayers that went up today as I went in to have the port checked out. They took off all the tape and steri-strips, with some skin, and removed the sutures. It was actually very painful. Any and all adhesives take my skin with it, so I have red marks in the shape of squares where the bandages were and lines where the steri-strips were removed. I guess I heal well and quickly. The sutures were somewhat embedded into my skin making the removal of them more difficult and involved. They had to pull them out from the skin before they could cut them. I thought today would be easy, but I guessed wrong. Two nurses removed them apologizing the whole time for the pain.

In the end I had to wait for a doctor to come and look at the wound and tell me that it was a bit red, but that was probably from all the tugging and tape removal and it should go away. He said that I can shower – Yay! It’s been a week, so I know that Sol is excited about that (as am I…feeling pretty gross!). 😉

When I asked about using the port tomorrow for the blood draw, the nurse said that it was probably ok, but that there would be some pain. They have to feel for the port and then actually pinch it a bit before putting the special needle right into it. I don’t know which would be worse. Using the port tomorrow or having them search for a vein to draw blood through. I have to choose the lesser of the two evils. She told me to take a pain pill before going in…it might help. I’m scared and can’t wait for this part to be over and the port to be fully functional with NO pain!

I’m going to try to get some much needed sleep tonight. Thanks for all the emails and reminders that you’re praying for me. I need to hear it and enjoy reading your encouraging words!

By the way, Kai was fine at school. When we finally got through to the school, they said everyone was ok. He was a little scared talking about it later when we picked him up – so cute.

Love,

Monica

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Wow!  We were shaking pretty hard, but we are ok.  It was a 5.8 located in Chino Hills about 10 miles from here.  I haven’t been able to get a hold of Kai’s school, but I’m sure they’re fine.  It felt like a truck ran into the house.  It knocked pictures down and things off of shelves.  It was very strong.  Sol works on the 6th floor of a building, and I was on the phone with him while we were shaking!  He said he was going to get out of the building.  I was talking to him while he was under his desk.  It was really scary and we just felt a pretty good aftershock!

Hopefully everything is ok.  It’s not too big, but was centered in a pretty populated area.  The news is saying that it knocked out phone service in the Inland Empire.  You’ll see it on the news if you’re in CA.

Got to go, leaving for the hospital soon.

Monica

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Well, like many other nights I wait for sleep to come – only this night seems more sleepless than others.  I cry out to God for healing, and for help in this trial.  I am scared, tired, afraid and overwhelmed.  I don’t know what else to do, but pray!  How come prayer is so often the last thing we come to?  Is it because after praying there is peace that comes and we stop searching?  Or is it because we are fix-it people?  We try everything in our power to do it ourselves, just like a two-year old, and when we realize it’s too much for us we finally ask for help!  Why are we like that?  I look at Kai trying to accomplish some “great feat” beyond what he can do, knowing that he’s going to need my help, and just wait patiently for him to ask.  How much more is God just waiting for us to ask?  We are His children, and He wants to help us.  He wants to hold us like a little baby, taking care of our every need.  I am crying out to Him for his help.  I want healing, and strength for this journey.

Tonight before I logged on to post, I read a devotional from a book my mother-in-law gave me called “More Joy for the Journey.”  It was on God as our Provider.  The verses that went with the devotional really touched my core tonight, and I just want to share them with you.  May they touch your life as well.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Psalm 46:1

“He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.”  Isaiah 40:29

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.”  Isaiah 53:4

“We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:15-17

I know that God is bigger than this cancer and that He can heal me!  I wake up each morning starting new.  Each day is a gift.  No one knows what will happen or when, all we have is today with hope for tomorrow.  “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

I want to end with some specific prayer requests:

1. I go in tomorrow (I guess technically speaking that’s today) to get the port checked.  Please pray that they tell me it is ready to use!

2. Wednesday they’ll be drawing blood.  Please pray that the White Blood Cell Count is normal and that I won’t have to have any shots to boost them or that I won’t have to delay my next treatment because they are low.

3.  Thursday is Chemo.  Please pray that my anxiety will be calmed and that the side-effects would not be as bad as they were this time. 

4. Please pray against any depression of any kind.  This battle is long and I can feel it starting to take it’s toll.

5. Pray for Sol, my wonderful husband, terriffic father, friend, and greatest blessing.  He’s been so strong, but I know that he’s hurting.  He wants to fix it, but can’t.

I want to thank everyone of you who are lifting me up and praying for me.  Keep storming heaven for us! 

Much love,

Sleepless in the Suburbs – Monica 

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Well, I started having shortness of breath on Friday and it only got worse yesterday.  It got to the point where every breath I took was painful.  The pain started near my right shoulder blade and moved around under my right arm and around to my chest.  My right arm became swollen.  I couldn’t take a deep breath or a short quick one.

We called my oncologist and he said that the shortness of breath could be a side-effect, but the pain was concerning.  He was concerned about blood clots and wanted us to go get checked out.  We were at the Lang’s for dinner and ended up leaving Kai there.  Sunshine took him back to our apartment after he ate to be with Sol’s mom for the night.

We got to the ER about 7:45pm and were taken in right away!  That was such a praise because it was so busy!  They still can’t use the port, so another IV line was put in…on the back of my hand!!!  Ouch!  They did multiple tests including a Chest x-ray, a Chest CT, Blood Work, and an Arterial Blood Gas Levels (another prick).  They gave me Morphine and Benadryll which made me pretty woozie.  Sol’s aunt, Nena, came and stayed with us for hours!

In the end, we were released about 3:30 am with “Shortness of Breath with No Apparent Cause”.   They said that the oxygen levels were normal and that even though I feel a shortness of breath, not to worry because there is enough oxygen.  I guess it’s just something I am going to have to deal with.  Hopefully, when the port is situated and “mature” my chest won’t be so tight and my muscles will be more relaxed.  Maybe that will ease the pain I feel.

Thank you for your prayers.  It was a pretty scary night.  I woke up this morning feeling much better, but am worried that this will be something I will have to deal with each and every time.  I have a bit of a rash on my neck.  I’ve taken Benadryll, and am waiting for that to get better.

I’ll keep you updated with any new news.

Love,

Monica

Comments Off on Visit to the ER last night…

I was feeling so terrible after attempting to eat lunch, that I laid down to try to take a nap.  I woke up not even knowing that I had slept.  Hours had passed, but I don’t remember dozing off.  Thank you for all of your prayers as I woke up not feeling ANY of the symptoms I went to sleep buried under.  The rash is gone, the hot spot cooled, no diarrhea, and I can breathe!  God is good and he heard your cries for me!  Please continue to pray as the days go on that the symptoms stay at bay!

Thank you, Jesus!

Monica

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I slept alright last night, but woke up this morning (at 6 thanks to Kai) to diarrhea, and then a rash, gas, and now shortness of breath.  All of which they said would be possible side-effects.  One weird one is on the back of my right arm.  I have a spot that is pretty hot to the touch, but I don’t have a fever.  It has been a pretty terrible morning.  From the best day of the week to…well I guess Wednesday is still the worst day of my week, but this ranks up there.

Please pray that these symptoms go away soon and don’t get worse.  I have to call the doctor in a little bit to let him know how I’m doing.  The major concern I have is the shortness of breath.  I can’t take a deep breath and that is scary!  I know that the avastin constricts all the blood vessels, but it’s still not very comforting knowing that it may happen when it is actually happening.

Thanks, I’ll keep posting, but need your prayers as this first treatment seems to be worse than the whole first chemos I went through.  I know that it gets progressively worse, so that makes it harder to walk through those doors next Thursday.

Monica

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I am happy to say that chemo went super smoothly.  No trouble finding a vein (although it was in a weird location on my arm), no reaction to the drugs and not too much nausea tonight.  The only strange thing was that when the Taxol was going in, I could taste it.  Luckily, they had some Lifesavers I could suck on.  They really earned their name today in my book.  I have a bit of pain from the Port Placement, but that’s about it.  I am tired and heading to bed here pretty quick, but just want to let you all know that today has actually been the best day of my week so far!  Hard to believe, but true.

Tonight was the Concert in the Park and our church band played a mix of songs, mostly U2 type songs.  It was nice to go out and see so many familiar faces, but I think I may have pushed it just a bit.  Mostly I just sat there while Sol and his mom chased Kai around, but even that might have been too much.

I guess I just don’t want to admit that I have cancer.  I can still do it all, right?  I just sit here praying that the chemo is attacking these darn tumors as I’m typing or doing whatever it is at the moment.  I talked to the oncologist today and asked him about treating the 4 cm tumor in my liver and then starting chemo, but he said that it is already too big for the less invasive surgical treatments, and that he really thinks that this chemo is going to shrink it enough to get it out with clear margins in a less invasive surgery.  I pray he’s right.  He is going to refer me to a liver surgeon so that I can talk to him about my choices.  I think that might make me feel better.

Anyway, I am doing ok.  I don’t have anything until Monday when I am supposed to have a lymphedema appointment.  I asked if that was ok and the doctor said yes since my tumors are not in the lymphatic system.  I think I have to wear some big foam arm-squisher thing for two weeks and then a compression sleeve.  There isn’t too much swelling, but they want to treat it now, so that there never is much swelling.

On Tuesday, I’ll be heading to Long Beach Memorial for follow-up with the stitches and dressings.

On Wednesday, I’ll have blood drawn, hopefully through the Power Port, if I get clearance on Tuesday.

On Thursday, more chemo.

Thank you for all of your encouragement, emails, support, hugs, dinner volunteering, babysitting, ride-giving, phone calls, text messages, and sincere concern.  You all have been so wonderful!  I cry and smile reading everything you all write.  I received a package FULL of cards and notes from Sol’s brother, Diego’s, church family.  It really touched me to receive such wonderful notes of encouragement from kids and their families who don’t even know me.  There are many who write whom I’ve never met and that is so hard to believe.  I don’t know why I’m having to go through this, but sometimes there are glimpses of how God is using this to touch so many lives.  It is then that I feel as though there is a reason for all of this yuckiness.  The Lord knows what I can handle, I think He’s really pushing the line sometimes, but I am still smiling and taking it one day at a time.  That’s all I can do some days – just fall asleep at the end of the day and take the next one as the sun rises.

Well this became longer than I had expected, but thanks for reading and listening to my heart.  I love you all with every fiber of my being.  This site has become a lifeline for me and a wonderful way to connect to so many of you!

Thank you and God Bless,

Monica

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I have a Power Port!  Today ended up being much longer than I thought that it would be – 7 hours instead of 5 at the hospital!  I am home now and doing just fine.  I feel a little stiff, but I think that’s because I don’t want to move too much.  I am afraid that I will do something wrong and it will all come apart.  Silly, I know, but true none-the-less.

Overall, I am feeling well.  I am a bit tired and will be going to bed soon, but am thankful that this part is over and that I will only have to be poked one more time (tomorrow) before using the port.  The port takes a week to “mature”.  It will not be ready tomorrow.

If you want the details of today – keep reading,  if you don’t – skip to the end!

The whole reason that I am getting the port is because my veins are becoming harder and harder to find.  This was truly evident when they were putting in the IV.  It was really painful and continued to be painful for the next 6 hours until it was taken out.  There was blood all over my arm after she put the IV in, and it didn’t get washed of until I got home.  They wheeled me into the room and I laid there watching them get everything ready.  I can’t have anything done to my right arm (like blood pressure, blood draws and IVs) so they put the blood pressure cuff on my leg.  When it squeezed my calf, it felt like a Charlie Horse and I was screaming.  They did it twice and then just put it on my left arm with the IV…not ideal, but definitely better than my leg.  I wasn’t put all the way out and don’t think that they gave me enough medicine.  I could hear and feel everything.  The doctor had to put a nick in my neck to feed the tube in, and when he did he said “Uh Oh.”  Not too comforting.  I could feel blood running down my neck!  Yuck!  Then when he made the hole for the Power Port, he said, “I tore a vein.”  I could feel pain and asked for medicine multiple times.  I think they may have ended up giving me too much as I was in recovery for a long time.  While in recovery, I asked for pain medication.  They have a new computer system at the hospital, which everyone was complaining about, and I had to wait more than 20 minutes to get any sort of pain killer.  Then it wasn’t enough, so they gave me more.  Anyway, that computer system really is bringing things to a halt over there.  It has only been a week and they’ll probably get faster, but when you looked around, all the nurses were on the computers trying to find where to input stuff and many patients were waiting around.  I would have been discharged sooner, but they couldn’t find where to print my discharge papers.  My friend, Keri, was told about 4 times that I would be ready in 30 minutes…she waited 3 hours just to see me!

It was a really frustrating day at the hospital, but it’s over and we’re moving on.  I start chemo tomorrow morning.  I am scared and nervous.  Sol’s mom comes in tonight and will be there with me tomorrow.  It will take about 3 1/2 hours pending it all goes smoothly!

Your prayers are so desired and felt!  I know that the Lord is in control of everything, and it is only through His strength that I get through each day doing what I must.

(Um, I just puked, need to go to bed.  Maybe, I’m not feeling as well as I thought I was!)

Love,

Monica

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