May 30th 2009 06:26 pm

Second Memorial Service

Once again we got to see how Monica impacted so many people.  For some reason though, it was a lot harder this time.  Several other people who spoke or made tributes said that too.  Maybe because at the first one we were still numb.  I don’t know. 

We went afterwards to the cemetary to see where she is buried.  That was very hard for me too.  Although I appreciated how beautiful the cemetary is with its giant redwood trees, I couldn’t help but break down.  It’s a place I never thought I’d be.

4 Comments »

4 Responses to “Second Memorial Service”

  1. MaryAnn on 31 May 2009 at 3:00 pm #

    Sol, we can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. Please know you, and Kai, are constantly with us in our prayers.
    Kelly & MaryAnn

  2. wendideetz on 31 May 2009 at 7:31 pm #

    Hey you,

    I have no idea how you made it through one service – let alone two. I’m sure there will be plenty of times when you don’t understand exactly how or why things impact you the way they do – just be easy on yourself and let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling in the moment as much as possible. I am so sorry that you’re having to confront such a challenging range of emotions and situations right now. I know you are so strong. I know you are so brave. I know you will handle it all with your characteristic grace & wisdom. Know I am here if you need to vent or be heard or even just be quiet with someone.

    Love and love and love to you and Kai & the rest of your family.

    xo

  3. sheribaker on 31 May 2009 at 7:43 pm #

    Hey Sol,

    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, but this grieving process is so healthy for you. I wish that there was some way to heal the pain of losing Monica’s physical presence and just to be happy that she herself is no longer in pain, but that takes time… lots of time. Thank you for sharing your heart with us during each step of your journey and, as so many others have said so many times, know that we are here for you whenever and however you need us. Give Kai a hug, cry on someone’s shoulder, and then smile at a funny memory of Monica.

    Sheri

  4. faith.gillis on 03 Jun 2009 at 6:07 pm #

    There are times in life when the old familiar images of God’s love just don’t cut it. The shepherd carrying his sheep just doesn’t cut the mustard when you’re so scared that you’re trembling and you feel all alone. There is an ancient Christian symbol that isn’t used often, but occasionally you will still see it on tabernacles at Catholic churches. It is the symbol of a mother Pelican surrounded in a circle by her babies, all with their mouths open hungrily. The mother bird has her beak pressed against her own chest, and sometimes she is bleeding. The legend is that, in times of famine, the Pelican would give away all her food to feed her young, and when that is gone she will rip open her own chest to feed them from her heart. It brings me comfort to remember that God is not passive in our suffering, but that his is a fierce love, a violently protective, sacrificial love that gives of itself eternally. In your time of grief and famine, I pray that you will experience this in unfathomable ways.

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