January 30th 2009 09:54 pm

Really Need Prayer!

I really need your prayer.  I have been feeling really down the past few days as I fight a cough that deprives me (and Sol) of sleep.  I have not had any energy, and it is really starting to bring me down.  I have been fighting one thing or another – maybe not even related to my cancer – everyday for the past three weeks.  I have seen God take away pain in miraculous ways but struggle as the battle to just feel better continues on a daily basis!  I am not eating much – Kai eats more than me these days.  I just don’t have an appetite, and so I don’t have any energy.  I don’t have the strength to pick up Kai or the energy to play with him and that breaks my heart!  I want to be a great mom to him, but find myself falling short (of my own expectations) as all I want to do is curl up in bed.  He is so great and cuddles with me.  Sol always asks me, “You ok, Love?” Kai picked up on it and the other day put his hand on my knee and asked, “You ok, Love?”  It was so sweet.  The other really sweet thing he did was go to the store with Sol to get me some Tylenol.  When they got home, he ran through the door so excited.  He couldn’t even spit out the words…”Mom, Mom.  I found you some medicine it’s gonna make you all better.”  He was all smiles!  I want to be all better so badly, if for nothing else, for that precious little child!  Sol, as you all know, is just an amazing blessing in my life.  He has really been taking care of me these past few weeks and doing everything to take care of Kai.  I’m glad he feels good taking care of me, but I feel so guilty – I know I shouldn’t, but I do.  

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you the tough time I am finding myself in right now and ask for your prayers.  I just want all this other stuff to be over and have the energy to fight this beast.  Thank you for continuing to pray for me and encourage me as I walk the road ahead.  



4 Responses to “Really Need Prayer!”

  1. sheribaker on 30 Jan 2009 at 11:58 pm #

    As always, you amaze me. You are an amazing mom – Kai couldn’t ask for a better one. He knows that you don’t feel good and he loves you enough to understand that. You do more than any woman should ever be expected to do, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Of course, we will continue to pray for all of you through these ups and downs. Always feel free to ask those who love you (including us!) for help when you need it. That’s what we’re here for. Get your rest, let your body heal, and enjoy cuddling with your son. That’s what you need right now.

    🙂 Sheri

  2. RenaeHerbTolbert on 31 Jan 2009 at 6:22 am #

    Monica, Somehow, the Lord had put you on my heart all week. You are always on my mind as it is, but this week was even stronger. I wore your “Monica’s Inner Circle” necklace to work the other day so that when people asked what it said, I’d have an opportunity to ask them to pray. It worked, people asked, I shared your story and people prayed.

    You are constantly in my thoughts and my prayers. I pray for you without ceasing. Your photo of you and Kai grace my fridge and a prayer goes up everytime I even glance at it.

    I think Sol is the most amazing husband and we pray for him too.
    Herb and I love you.
    In His Love,
    Renae & Herb too

  3. CherylGregSimoneMarcus on 31 Jan 2009 at 7:02 am #

    God provided you with two great guys, so don’t feel bad. Kai wants to take care of you in his special way and that is a wonderful. He is growing up into a beautiful boy. Leave the prayers to us and Sol will take care of you and Kai. It’s hard… I’m sure…

    We love you and pray for you EVERYDAY!!
    Cheryl, Greg, Simone and Marcus

  4. flowerpower on 31 Jan 2009 at 7:49 pm #

    Just as God has put his arms around you all, we are all here putting our arms around you, holding and comforting you…we love you all very much…you rest and let us give Sol, Kai and you all our support and love…Kai loves his mommy very much and let that beautiful face of his embrace your beautiful smile of love…we are you prayer warrior’s and we are on a mission of better days…Leave the prayers to us all….
    With much love Martin, Catt and Matthew

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