March 14th 2008 06:53 pm

One (maybe two) in a Million…

Along with what we hoped it would say about clear margins, the pathology report held quite a worrisome surprise.  As the surgeon was looking over the report, he kept making faces and saying, “How interesting”, “Hmmm”, “Wow”… and other things you don’t want to hear your doctor saying as he’s reading a report you thought might be predictably boring.

Apparently the cancer I have isn’t a breast cancer.  It is called angiosarcoma of the breast.  So nominally, it’s breast cancer, but it could have occurred anywhere in the body.  It is a rare cancer of the lining of the veins and arteries – the endothelial cells.   Only about 2-3 in 1,000,000 cases occur annually.  I don’t have too much information about it yet, but from what I’ve read, it doesn’t sound good.  I have an appointment on Monday at 4:00 p.m. with the oncologist to find out more about what it is, what treatment looks like and what (if any) tests need to done.

I am really frightened and angry about this.  It feels like the first day that they told me I had cancer all over again.  It’s really quite overwhelming.  Here I thought we were on the home stretch, and we’re at the beginning all over again.  I can’t believe this is really happening.  I’m trying not to freak out about the unknown, but it really is unknown and that freaks me out.

I will keep you all updated as I find out more.  I have decided not to read anymore on the internet and just to wait until Monday to find out anything new.  Please pray that I can sleep and rest in knowing that everything is in the Lord’s control, what was there is GONE and that I’ll be informed soon.

Thank you, and love you all,

Monica

7 Comments »

7 Responses to “One (maybe two) in a Million…”

  1. RenaeHerbTolbert on 14 Mar 2008 at 7:58 pm #

    Monica, I don’t know what to say. I am sorry about this news for you. I know it must hurt and cause so much confusion. I was stunned as I read, and I can completely understand why you feel you are starting over. I pray and pray and pray for you, for Sol and for Kai. Dang, I just don’t know what to say but I wanted to tell you I love you. Geez. . . . you WILL be okay, I just know you will be!! Love, Renae and Herb too.

  2. CherylGregSimoneMarcus on 14 Mar 2008 at 8:11 pm #

    Love you too and the other thing I was going to tell you is STOP reading the internet!

  3. teamsack@msn.com on 15 Mar 2008 at 8:07 am #

    We are shocked…yet determined more than ever to pray! NONE OF US WILL GIVE UP MONICA & SOL! We are SO THANKFUL that Our Father never grows weary in hearing our prayers…for He will certainly be bombarded with requests on your behalf. The prayer department is up and running…try and get some rest.

  4. Mel on 15 Mar 2008 at 2:40 pm #

    Oh Monica, I am so sorry to hear this. I am shocked and wordless, I started up my pray list again and sent out an email so everyone knows and will be praying. This is one thing that makes no sense. I am so sorry. let us know what you all need and we will do whatever it takes to help. We Love You!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

  5. wendideetz on 15 Mar 2008 at 5:17 pm #

    I am so, so sorry and I love you all so much.

    I hope you find some peace and that you get back the good news part sooner than later. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

  6. stephanie on 15 Mar 2008 at 7:09 pm #

    Monica, I have been following your progress since the beginning of this whole thing, and I just wanted to let you know that I am so very sorry at this latest news. Our family is praying for you. God is able to do so much more than we could ask or imagine, I pray that you can rest in that.

    Stephanie (Jensen) Wendel (from Simpson a long time ago!)

  7. prayer_warrior_idaho on 17 Mar 2008 at 1:59 pm #

    hey…
    i am so sorry…I just wanted you to know you are in my prayers…there isnt anything else i can say unfortanatly but i love you and am praying God heals you and helps you…i love you!…
    \
    Heather

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