June 16th 2010
It’s been a while since I posted. The simple reason is that life is hectic as a single dad. Not only do I contend with the “tyranny of the urgent”, but if you know Kai, you know that he is one of the most energetic kids you’ll ever meet. That being said, probably the greater truth is that I’ve struggled with the realization that most of the time I feel like posting, it has been about something kind of negative. I don’t want to be the downer in someone’s day, so I usually just skip the posting.
The weeks leading up to the anniversary of Monica’s passing were the hardest yet. It was almost unimaginable to think that after almost a full year of grieving I was still finding new lows. There didn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I decided to take the day off on May 11th and just spend some “me” time. I turned my phone off and didn’t check any email or FaceBook messages (a quick thank you to everyone who did try to reach out to me and Kai on that day. I apologize for not getting back to you all, but there really were an overwhelming number of people to get back to. I just skipped it all.)
Something interesting happened… I spent the day playing and writing music, and by the end of the day I really felt a lot better. It was the first encounter of “joy” I’d had in a long time. It was such a contrast to the lows I had been feeling, that I felt like I was soaring or something. It was really encouraging to realize that I could still experience joy like that.
A couple of weeks later Kai and I received another gift. Our church, Whittier Area Community, was doing its annual serve weekend and our back yard was one of the projects. We ended up having so many people come to help and show their love, that not only did the backyard get a total makeover, but many of the projects I couldn’t get to inside the house got done too. It was an incredibly humbling experience that we will be eternally grateful for. If you were one of the many people that helped out at our house for serve weekend, please know that you really made a difference to us. During a time of faith struggles, sadness, and a blurry outlook on hope, you guys represented the love of Christ and the church with elegance and grace.
I’m so pleased to be able to finally post something positive.